Dancing In The Rain

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Keeping it Real!!!

This past weekend someone approached me and told me that they loved reading my social media posts. She went on to tell me that what she loved about it was that I am always just so real. I thanked her and kinda chuckled responding well, I really don't know any other way to be.  Many people don't know this but when Jonathan and I talked about getting married I told him I wanted to marry him but he probably shouldn't marry me. He laughed and asked me why I felt that way. I knew Jonathan was called to be a pastor and I told him that I have this problem and I am just too real and I am worried that as a pastors wife I may say something that would embarrass you or speak my mind too much and get myself in trouble. I was always Christlike but I was never really good at sugar coating things. I always tell people, "I'm just Cat...what you see is what you get." He looked right back at me and said that is exactly why I want to marry you. :) When Jonathan and I were in the darkest time of our lives fighting cancer people would come up to me and ask me how we were doing. My response normally was, "We are barely holding it together, cancer is really crappy". I had a few people look at me strangely. I guess they were expecting me to say something different. Cancer was really tough. At 32 years old I was lifting my husband in and out of bed. Helping him through 7 major surgeries and chemo that almost killed him. One surgery he had 57 staples in his abdomen. I didn't even know how to care for him and was so stressed about it.  On top of all of this I had 3 kiddos at home ages 3, 5 and 7. Yeah...it was not fun. I tell you this because in order for us to make it through this life we need to 1st, hold on to God and His promises. He promises to be our refuge and our strength. He doesn't promise us an easy life, but He does promise to go through life with us. We are not alone. Secondly, we have to be real with each other. Our personal experiences and life journey can help someone if we would just share it. You don't know where someone is in their life and your story can help them know that they are not alone. No one has it all together and our times in the valley can minister to someone else when they are in the valley. I really try to be teachable and learn from my mistakes and experiences in life. When I was a new mom, I had mentors in my life that I would call and ask for advice. One of my mentors told me that if I could be very consistent with discipline between the ages of 2-5, my kids will be a joy to be around as they grow into their older years. These formative years are when you need to teach obedience consistently. There were so many nights I would cry myself to sleep because I felt as though all I did that day was discipline, discipline, and more discipline. I was young and tired and just wanted to have fun with my babies but I stayed consistent and stuck to it and let me tell you that it was the best advice I ever received. My teens are so fun and enjoyable to be around. I don't even like it when they go to bed because we have so much fun together. My kiddos are not perfect, but to this day when they get out of line all I have to do is look at them a certain way and they get it together really quickly. :) We need to share our experiences because someone may need to know that they are doing a great job parenting and keep up the good work. It will pay off.  We also need to share our struggles. I have a huge fear of failure and the future. I also struggle with serious anxiety. I pray and give these struggles to God daily. I wake up at least 2 days a week in tears because Jonathan passed away in my dreams. I wake up and reach out for him and realize it just a dream and he comforts me. My fear is real because I almost lost him to cancer but I cling to what the the Bible tells me and that is "She is clothed with Strength and Dignity and she laughs without fear of the future."  I also fear failure. My anxiety comes from these two struggles of  fear of failure and the future. I choose every morning to not be defined by my fear. The Bible also says that God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and a sound mind. I say these verses almost everyday of my life because the fear I struggle with is from the enemy and I will not let it define me or devour me. Let's keep close to God and speak life over each other. My life verse that is tatted on my arm is Psalm 46:5, "God is within her, she will not fail". Let's Keep it up and Keep it real!!!

Overwhelmed.....In A Good Way!

When you hear the word Overwhelmed, most people's thoughts go right to a dark place. If you hear someone say or post on social media that they are overwhelmed they are probably bogged down, stressed out, full of anxiety and barely keeping their head above the waves of life crashing over them. To be honest, this is the type of overwhelmed I have felt in my last season and this newer season of my life. I haven't blogged in a while but learning to "Dance in the Rain" is a daily choice which is why I have returned to share what I am learning. It's kinda crazy that I went from one overwhelming season to another overwhelming season. I thought I would get a break. LOL! Fighting cancer with my husband from 2009-2011 was definitely one of the toughest, scariest, darkest 3 years of my life. 5 surgeries, 7 months of enduring 5 different types of chemo while raising 3 kiddos ages 3, 5 and 7. PHEW...just typing that give me a sinking feeling in my stomach still.  We are now 5 years though the window that doctors said Jonathan had a less that 10% chance of living though. 2013-2016 were critical years to ensure that this metastatic disease did not return in his lungs or abdominal area. We are so thankful for God's healing and continued healing everyday! To God Be ALL The Glory! In 2013,  I embarked on a new journey working for my sister with a new medical billing business.  I started working alongside her as just a medical biller, with just two doctors as our clients we were gaining traction. I am a very driven person and thrive on a challenge and hard work. This whole concept intrigued me and I got excited to be apart!  This little dream and company began to grow and we soon had investors knocking on our door. Just a little back ground...our medical billing company is not your typical billing service. We fight for the out of network doctors like dentists and orthopedics. We found that through medical insurance, when accessed legally and supported with medical necessity, we could help patients with out of pocket costs and help the doctor build revenue and close more cases. It's a win-win. There are no companies out there doing this successfully because it is tough and a challenge everyday. Long story short, we found a niche! This little home grown company has now grown to 15 employees, in a facility in West Palm Beach, and now serving more than 75 out of network doctors all over the country and growing. With all this being said. this is my new season of life....I am part of building a business and truly love what I get to do! I never dreamed that this is where we would be back in 2013. When I get up in the morning, after I send my kids to school, I head into the office! The team of brilliant men and women I get to work alongside is spectacular! I get the amazing job of leading this company and the employees and managing the day to day business. I pray for wisdom and guidance everyday. This task set before me is awesome and I am aware that an opportunity like this does not come along every day and I do not take that for granted.  There are many days I sit at my desk and look out the window and ask myself, "How did I get here,? I am so unqualified to run a business and lead these amazing leaders in the healthcare industry." I am floored that God and my partners, would entrust me to such an awesome opportunity.  Nevertheless, this season is here and I am busier and I get stressed out with all of this responsibility of juggling family, church and work. I don't want to let anyone down, that is my biggest fear. Here is what God is teaching me.  Seasons of life come and go. We cannot decide which season is going to be an easier season or a tougher season, we just have to be ready  for whatever God has for us in the next season....good or bad. I always thought that once my 3 kids were bigger and they didn't need me to take them to the bathroom, fix them a plate of food, wash and bathe them at night and put them to bed, that my life would be easier and I would have more time to myself. WRONG...I now have a 10, 12 and 14 year old and they need me in a totally different way but just as much. My 14 year old daughter needs me to take her shopping for retail therapy  and a talk when a friend hurts her feelings, my 10 year old needs to still cuddle on school nights because he misses me during the day, my 12 year old needs me listen to him when he feels that juggling school and tackle football is just too much to handle now that he is in middle school. This season of parenting brings me so much joy and still requires intentional effort and awareness everyday.  To say I am overwhelmed in this new season is an understatement. But here is the good news! We have choices in this life moving from season to season. I can CHOOSE to be overwhelmed in the not so good way or choose to be overwhelmed in a great way. Here is what I mean. I can CHOOSE to be overwhelmed by God's amazing blessings in my life. He has overwhelmed me with a cancer-free husband, 3 healthy God-loving awesome kids, a growing business, great friends, and wonderful church to serve and love God and people through. OR.....I can CHOOSE to be overwhelmed with a busy schedule, worried that I am not being a good wife or pastors wife or friend, lots of never-ending laundry, 3 kids, a new growing business that needs a lot of my time and all the anxiety that comes along-with all of what I just listed. Nope...not me....I CHOOSE to be Overwhelmed with God's amazing love, blessings and peace in this new season of life! It's all about choices and perspective. This is something  I have learned from my amazing husband. Each season will come and go. How do we want to be remembered in the tough seasons? Even if they are back to back tough seasons. My kids are watching me and I need to show them that no matter what, whether it is Stage 4 Metastatic cancer or a stressful job we can CHOOSE to be Overwhelmed by Christ and His amazing love and goodness in our lives. I work on making this choice everyday. I am speaking to myself as I type this blog.  I am here to encourage you to CHOOSE God and be OVERWHELMED by Him. He will give you joy in the journey no matter what difficult situations may rise in the season you are walking through! 

A God Moment.....I'm Blown Away!

It has been one of those months with too many, "Really.....is this really happening...moments! We all have these times in our lives. My husband and daughter were in a car accident. Praise The Lord God protected them from what could of been far worse. Shay walked away without a scratch, Jonathan unforunately has a broken sternum. He is recovering. We found out my odyssey is totaled from the women that decided to pull out in front of my husband. The same week our hot water heater burst and our dog almost died from some crazy infection. Phew...craziness that I know we all go through, right? Well today was another day that I found myself running around driving my husband and daughter back and forth to the church, getting the oil changed in now our only car, getting groceries, getting the boys haircuts and doing laundry, housework and getting homeschool organized for the week ahead. I was driving back from my errands after spending about 3 hours out with my boys shopping. Here is a little background on my boys. Jonathan Jr. Is 10 and will be 11 in one month. Logan Philip, my youngest is 8. I have so much be thankful for and the amazing kiddos God has blessed Jon and I with. We thank God everyday! I was walking down the hall at church a few Saturdays ago before Saturday night service and Jon Jr's leader in his class stopped me to tell me that Jonathan is the only 5th or 6th grade boy lifting his hands and just flat our worshipping in Nitro. He told me he is such a leader and he wanted me to know that. My heart just burst with thankfulness! Just giving God the glory for such a great church that my kids can worship in every week! Well, today we were driving back from the store and we were listening to our churches new worship album! We love it!! Most days we drive down the road with our windows down singing and worshipping Jesus all week. One of the songs on the album is called "Hallelujah for the Savior" these are the amazing words to the chorus..."Halleluah for the cross that saved us from ourselves, Hallelujah for the blood for our redemption spilled, Hallelujah for this love we don't deserve, Hallelujah for the Savior." This is definitely one of my favorites that our worship pastors have written. So I want you to picture this...I'm driving down the road thinking about the crazy month we have had and just giving it over to God. I am thinking about the week ahead and tough decisions that have to made at the office, I'm thinking about what I have to get done before the week starts over, Then my minds drifts to our car situation and what that all entails. Then I do what every mom does and check out my kids in the backseat from my rear view mirror. As I take a quick glance my Logan, sitting among lots of groceries, is singing this song with his eyes closed and one arm pointing up to God worshipping like I have never seen. I couldn't help but stare and also keep my eyes on the road at the same time. I began to weep driving down 441. I was wearing sunglasses so the boys couldn't really see my tears. I look at little Jonathan in the front seat and he's already worshipping and now my 8 year old is in the back seat praising God for being his Savior. In that God moment I felt no anxiety or stress about anything. I drove down the road watching him worship my Heavenly Father who died for us all and my 8 year old son knows it and believes it with his entire being! At that moment I remembered that the most important thing in this life is what I just witnessed in the back seat of my husbands little Honda Accord! My boys are growing up knowing Jesus has created them for His Glory. They understand how precious they are in the eyes of their Heavenly Father and nothing that happens in this world can steal that promise, unconditional love and joy from them! They have their worth founded on Jesus Christ and not things of this world because they know that Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice for them. This is how they are growing up! I was blown away! God used that precious moment to remind me about what is most important in this earthly life! If you are overwhelmed by life and all of the earthly demands remember that you have a Savior who loves you and died for you and created you to worship Him! That is our purpose in this life! The faith of child reminded me of this amazing promise today! I am so thankful for God moments like these!

WOW! It's been a long time!

I don't even know where to start. All I know is that the Lord prompted me this morning that I need to get back to blogging. So much has happened in my life since my lost post. Here is a quick snap shot of what is going on in my life. Jon and I are still writing a Cancer Devotional, I am working outside of the home now with my growing business, the kids are homeschooling this year with the help of a nanny. The boys are returning to school next year at Jupiter Christian. Shay, my oldest, will continue homeschooling one more year till high school and she will attend a great public high school for her freshman year. I love serving alongside my husband at Christ Fellowship and weekly seeing God work in the lives of 100's to thousands of people. I feel so blessed and honored to get to serve at such a great church!

The reason I stopped blogging is because my life went into high gear once this business with my sister took off. I was working from home, homeschooling my kiddos, flying to NYC with Jonathan for cancer scans and serving at CF and focusing on just doing the next best thing. Last year we partnered with a management group and now we have employees and a facility here in WPB and we have doctors/clients all over the country. 

My sister and I saw a need  out there and with the experience I have with medical insurance and her experience of being married to a doctor in working in the medical field, we jumped at this opportunity. My dad raised us girls to be strong, dedicated and hard workers. I love a challenge and enjoy hard work! We are praying that God will use this company to do great and awesome things. 

I have so many people ask me how I keep in together. Some days I have no answer to give because I am seriously on the brink of losing it. Like so many people, I have dreams and goals for my life and I don't feel like I have enough hours in the day to make it happen. I have to focus on my priorities which are God, family and career. Everyday I get up and ask the Holy Spirit to fill me and help me throughout that day to bring honor and glory to Him. I want to speak love and kindness to my husband, my children, my friends and employees. I want to do what God wants me to that day and not what is on my agenda. I have to rely on my heavenly Father to guide and direct each step I take from the moment I wake up till I close my eyes that night. I am praying as I drive down the road to the One I know who gives comfort, joy and peace in the midst of my craziness. I seriously struggle with anxiety and worry. I have had 6 outbreaks of shingles since I was 17. I am actually being treated for shingles right now. I have to daily trust God's heart in the continued healing of my husband and now my own father in their cancer journey and not allow myself to think thoughts that can steal my joy and happiness! I want to focus on the fact that everyday is a gift and live with purpose! A great man of God said this: "You don't measure a person's greatness by their wealth or talent as the world does, but rather by what it takes to discourage them."- Dr. Jerry Falwell

I CHOOSE to not let things in this life discourage me. As a follower of Christ, people are watching how I react to life's hardships and just plain craziness. I want them to choose God and not be discouraged but fight for true joy in the midst of it all. I do not blame God for the hard times because I broke this world. We live in a broken world because of sin. Christ came to save us from our brokenness and never to harm us. He came to give us purpose and LIFE! So remember this the next time you are going though a storm or just trying to manage the craziness of life:  God is for you, He is never against you! He never promised us an easy life, He just promised to go though life with us! So go out and "Dance in the Rain" and don't let anything steal your joy!!!  

Good Morning Lord!

I read a great quote the other day from one of my favorite speakers and authors Patsy Clairmont. she said, "Do you wake up in the morning and say,  'Good Morning Lord!' or do you say, ' Good Lord, It's Morning" This quote really gave me a sucker punch to the gut. I needed it! I have never been a morning person but lately I have really struggled getting up and starting the day with a good attitude.

This life here on earth can feel so pointless and worthless if we are not striving to honor God in everything we do. That is where we find such purpose and life to our day to day routine. My blog is called, Dancing In The Rain. I named it this because when life brings storms and struggles along we need to be able to learn how to Dance and bring glory to God in the midst of it all. When people see you loving and thinking of others in the middle of tough times people are astounded. They will wonder where you get that strength from. They will soon want to have what you have. Is it easy? No....not at all. That is why we have the church. We are the church  and we are to love, encourage and support each other so that we can all live out the purposes that God has designed for each of us.

I do not want to wake up in the morning so focused on the negative that I am not thankful that I have another day to love and serve my God, my family, my church my job and people that I come into contact with. I want to wake up with strength for the day and live a life of integrity with no fear of the uncertain future. I want to be the woman that Proverbs 31 talks about. Proverbs 31 :25 says this, "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."

What kind of person are you? Do you Dance in the Rain and in the storms that this life brings along or do you sit in a corner and wait for someone to have pity on you. I refuse to focus on the struggles this life brings. Instead I am going to strive to wake up in the morning and say, Good Morning Lord, with You I can handle anything this life brings me today! I want to Dance and praise God especially during the times when I am fearful and worried about things I have no control over! He has my life in His hands so why not just "Dance"!!!

Most Important Things In Life!

I haven't blogged in a while. Life has been crazy! I know we are all busy! Busy with family, work, church, friends and of course all of the personal stuff we have going on as well. Lately I have been spending extra time on my knees praying about my priorities and asking God to help me focus on the most important things in my life.

I was reminded of how important being a mom is as I was driving to school this morning with my kiddos. We have the greatest conversations in the car. I've been reading this great book called, "Nurturing the Leader Within Your Child" for the past month. I have been trying very hard to be intentional about doing this. I have 12 minutes in the car to school and I want these 12 minutes while they are fresh, at the beginning of their day, to pour Christ into their lives. The book gives me great questions to ask my kids to help mold them into leaders. It shows me how to use their real life situations, as they are influenced by their peers and friends, to point out how they can be a leader and be Christ to others around them. 

This morning our conversation was all about behavior.  Just like any kids, my kids are learning to have good behavior and make good choices. They have all kinds of questions if they see other kids treat people unkind. We don't name call so when they see other kids do this they are so shocked. haha! lol:) I always want to teach them WHY we are to have good behavior. The reason we are is because God's Word tells us too. I teach my children that when we strive to do our best in school and treat our family and others with love and respect we are showing love and bringing honor to God and His name. For example...we do not watch the Disney Channel, Nickelodeon and other preteen shows on TV. Have my children seen these shows? Yes, We used to watch them and I have actually sat down and watched these shows with them. Years ago I started to see things I did not like so we would discuss what we saw. I was amazed at what they pulled out of the shows. They said that the kids were disrespectful to their parents and each other. They said it looked like the kids knew more than the parents did. My son Jonathan said it didnt even look like the brothers and sisters on the shows loved each other because they were so mean to each other. My 10 year old daughter said that she could see that the kids always tried to sneak things behind their parents back and that was deceitful. I was very proud of what they saw on their own. I want them to be prepared to make good choices when they are away from me and out on their own one day. This is what we are allowing the world to teach our kids. Jonathan and I do not shelter our kids. We listen to Christian and mainstream music and we watch TV. We just discuss with them what is appropriate to listen to and watch for a follower of Christ. You will be surprised how much your kid will choose to not listen to a specific song or watch a certain TV show because they know that it would not be pleasing to God. My daughter loves Taylor Swift. I do too! We love listening to her tunes riding around in the car. Just the other day she heard an old Taylor Swift song and said mom can I listen to the sample on your phone to see if I wanna buy it. I said sure. She goes into her room and listens to it and two seconds later she comes out of the room and gives me back my phone. I said well...are you gonna buy it? She said no....the whole song is talking about sneaking out of the house when she's a teenager. I don't like that. I said yeah...that's not the way to earn your parents trust and honor God is it. She said definitly.... NO. Then she walked away. I was beaming with pride about my 10 year old hearing that message in the song and refusing to listen to it. All it takes is God's Word and time spent pouring your life into their little hearts. It's not easy..life is busy...but if it means cutting out that afternoon sport, or that extra cirricular activity or turning the TV off and engaging in conversation while you cook dinner to spend extra time speaking life and truth into our kids than we have to do it. It is the most important thing a parent can do. God has entrusted our kids to us and we will stand before God for how we raise them. I am not perfect... I have to ask my kids to forgive me for things I do that are not pleasing to God. I use my very imperfect moments to show them how we are to forgive each other and show grace just as Christ did for us on the cross.

When I came to work this morning I was very proud of my kids and how our conversation went in the car. I can see Christ working in their little lives and I give all the glory to God. It's not me...It is Christ through me!